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Consistency Was Always a Mess

A raw look into how I struggled with tutorial hell, the AI dependency trap, and the instant gratification loop, and how I'm finally breaking the cycle.

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It has been four years since I started coding.

Before programming, I was a UI/UX designer. I had creativity, drive, and a natural workflow. I used to pull inspiration from design boards to augment my own thinking.

Then, during a trip to Rishikesh, two of my engineer friends working at high-growth startups gave me a piece of advice: “Leave graphic design and start coding. You’ll find better opportunities.” Seeing them earn well-paying salaries while I was still in college made it an easy decision. I jumped in.

In the beginning, I learned rapidly. When you start something completely new, the learning curve is steep, the progress feels massive, and the energy is incredibly high.

But soon after, my approach shifted.

I fell into a new trap. After watching a tutorial or learning a basic concept, I would tell myself: "I already understand the logic, so why not just use AI to build it?"

They say practice makes perfect, and I practised using AI until I was perfect at it. Before AI, I was stuck in tutorial hell, which was relatively easy to escape. Getting out of the AI trap, however, is much harder. As the technology constantly upgrades, your own skills stagnate. I had completely outsourced my critical thinking to AI.

When I landed my first internship, I was excited. I believed I could deliver work faster than anyone else using AI tools. In reality, I wasn't a good programmer; I was just fast.

This illusion of speed led me to chase multiple things at once, never truly finishing any of them. I started setting arbitrary financial timelines for myself, but apart from a few projects for friends, freelance clients never came my way. I kept promising myself I would be consistent, but I was hooked on instant gratification. To feed that need for quick dopamine, I constantly created new plans. Combined with a habit of overthinking that I’ve carried since the 10th grade, I effectively trained myself to become the most inconsistent version of myself.

I couldn't commit to a single path. If I was applying for jobs, I would suddenly switch to learning backend development. If I was building a project, I would drop it to learn DevOps.

Now, for the first time, I am breaking that cycle. I am focusing on exactly one thing: a project idea that genuinely inspires me. I initially thought about balancing this with freelancing, but recognising my pattern of inconsistency, I decided to cut out the noise.

I once heard that overthinking causes inconsistency, and if you can cure that, you can develop the traits of a polymath. I want to achieve that, but it has to start with a new rule: One thing at a time.

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Consistency Was Always a Mess | Shriyansh Lohia